To break or not to break?

link to this article:http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20100224/tsp-entertainment-us-cole-e7f0a65.html

Tiger Woods, John Terry and Ashley Cole. These three names may be familiar to you, even though you may not actually be a sports fan. These three famous sports personalities have been found to be cheating on their spouses by having affairs with other women. Unlike the first two, Ashley Cole is not as lucky. His wife, Chery Cole, has announced her decision to separate from him due to his long history of infidelity.

Ashley has not been playing the role of a 'good person' at all in the marriage. He has been cheating his wife constantly by having affairs with many women repeatedly. By doing so, he has not been performing his role as a faithful husband. Deception, actions that will undermine trust and norm violations are some of the reasons on why a relationship can collapse. In order to maintain a relationship, one needs to be extremely frank by letting the other person know information that is confidential. Moreover, there is a need for trust and commitment. By having multiple affairs, Ashley has no fulfilled the above two criteria. Hence this marriage has to end.

It has also been reported in the news that his wife has been enjoying an extremely happy friendship with another man. Cheryl, being really attractive and affluent due to her status of being a pop star, has no difficulties in finding another man that can be as good in status as Ashley, which is why I believe she may be able to let the marriage go easily.

On the other hand, I believe not everyone can be as decisive as Cheryl to let the marriage go. There are many people who go for a relationship so that they can benefit each other in areas that they are lacking. For instance, a poor woman may go for a rich man just that she can improve her status in society. Hence, the woman may not give up her relationship because she will lose out everything in the end.

Quite some time ago, I was browsing a local internet forum when I found this interesting thread. A woman claimed that she knows that her husband is not faithful but he has been extremely frank to her. Her husband claims to be unable to suppress his sexual urges and visits prostitutes frequently. However, she claims that he is very honest about it and understands that these prostitution visits are just 'flings' and is determined not to affect his marriage. She also claims that he is doing his role as a responsible husband and father and brings home the bread without fail.

From the above example, we can see that this is a strange relationship. The man has been visiting prostitutes, so he has been violating the rules and norms that are expected of a faithful husband. However, he is seen to be extremely honest and is committed to the marriage. Do you feel this is the reason why this marriage is maintained? However, do you think that the woman is overly dependent on the husband that she is willing to ignore his flaws but if she were in the financial position of Cheryl, she would have broken from him straightaway? I think it is the latter. What about you?

Is image the most important?

link to this article: http://www.newsweek.com/id/232695

My mother is in charge of my wardrobe ever since I was born. In fact, many women, like my mother, are still the ones controlling what the men in the family wear. In fact, men are often joked as 'poor shoppers' who will buy an item at first sight instead of looking around for a cheaper and better bargain. So, this has encouraged many women to take things into their own hands and do the shopping.

This is no longer the case today.

Luxury brands around the world are now seeing the growth potential in men-only clothes market and are now putting greater emphasis on their stores to attract men. This has led many luxury brands venturing into markets specially dedicated for men.

I believe that men today are looking to make themselves more exclusive. Gone are the days when people were simply contented with a suit for work. As the saying goes, "clothes make the man." With a good business suit readily available and affordable to many people today, men today need to be more fashion savy and exclusive to readily distinguish themselves from others.

How do clothes make the man exactly? Clothes can help to shape the perception of us in front of others. It is one of the types of personal constructs under the cognitive schemata. Everybody knows that it is very important to dress yourself up appropriately. However, to enhance one's image even further, it is even more important to find the best and most exotic brands to do the job. It is sufficient to have a watch for a business man but it would be a lot better if the watch is of a luxury brand. It will even be much better if your watch is one that is endorsed by professional golfers and this will show your clients that you are a golf enthusiast, making a business deal more likely to be successful if your client is also a golf enthusiast.

Another way that clothes can make a man is to enhance the prototypes or role constructs under the cognitive schemata that people already have about you. Many people already know that you are the manager of a particular department. It will be much better if you are holding onto a Gucci handbag and a suit bought from Raoul. The accessories and clothes that you are wearing will further reinforce the image that you are an extremely successful manager, which is why you can afford such luxurious items on yourself. Therefore, this will help to instill a sense of confidence in your clients and business associates.

However, despite all these examples above, will the over emphasis on clothes and appearance make our society a superficial one? There are two pitfalls involving perception, which are distortion and oversimplification. Distortion occurs when we fail to prioritize the important info or select the wrong information and prioritize this particular wrong information. A man that is so extravagantly dressed is immediately perceived to be a successful man, despite the fact that a successful business needs to be equally as skilled in his oral and business abilities. The same goes for oversimplification when our minds immediately jump into the conclusion that he is extremely successful. These two pitfalls will cause us to jump hastily into conclusion and make us overlook some of the person's other traits.

On the other hand, if you are not dressed impressively enough, it may not be good enough in the minds of others even though you possess incredible oral and business abilities.

Therefore, have your say! Is image that important?